Waiting On the Next Rainbow.

These last few days the Lord has been leading me through some amazing discoveries and blessings. I think it must be someone else’s turn now. LOL Really I know He is faithful and never leaves me. Truly I do. Right now this second, though, even though I know that I am still feeling wore out, down, lower than down. And I hurt. My legs, my knees, my hands, my ears, my face, my jaws, my teeth, my heart. I just hurt. The aches, the tingles, the white-hot stabs of needle-like pain, the crackling/muffled sound in the ears, the cramped muscles, the twitching muscles, the hoarse voice, the cloudy feeling. They are all back.

I feel like the Lord graciously lifted all the clouds of hurt and doubt and anxiousness for a few days while I wrote down many, many notes and ideas and in between sang praises to Him. Oh the wonderful singing and praising. We had guest singers in church these week. Between that and my own pile of CDs (children’s praise songs)…. =) WONDERFUL! I always feel in tune with God when I sing His praises. I just love it!

So many of the songs I heard touched my heart ‘just so’…like Jesus was saying here is another ‘coincidence’ so you will hear me saying “I love you”. The words of the songs…the messages. So many were mirroring, or rather confirming, what I had been writing of. So not coincidence the way most people look at coincidence.

Anyway. That was then, this is now. No God didn’t leave. Jesus didn’t leave me. But the clouds have rolled back in. I enjoyed the sunshine while it lasted, but you know? There’s joy to be found in the rain, too. And after the rain shower? A rainbow! =)

I know the rain shower will ultimately do me good, even though I don’t have a clue how right now. Like the flowers need the rain even though they might lose some petals in the process. Even thunderstorms are good for some crops…the thrashing makes tomato plants grow hardier and bear more fruit. So I’ll just sit back and wait for the rainbow. I know these things:

  • the sunshine wouldn’t be as bright or as sweet without the bitter darkness to contrast it to
  • I will weather the storm because my life is built upon the Solid Rock of Jesus (who will carry me through)
  • The rainbow is a reminder of God’s promises…I will wait on Him because He keeps His promises.

Tonight I will rest, and tomorrow, though I may still hurt and feel cloudy inside, I will sing of the mercies of the Lord that are renewed every morning! Because God is good…ALL the time.

And also? I like to. I do. =) It DOES make me feel better. It doesn’t necessarily take all the hurt and cloudys away, but it makes the time seem to go faster. Kinda like singing a song to make the work day go by quicker. =) Except different because while I can remember singing while working in the fast food industry, I don’t remember my voice cracking with emotion and my eyes turning into faucets. (Yes, it’s official, I’m a sap….I cry over children’s praise songs!) Do you think maybe the tears wash poisons out and that is what makes me feel better? Probably it’s just Jesus. He’s enough. =)


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February 2008
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