It’s a record breaker!

I’ve stumbled upon a surprising purpose, as it were, for this blog. Keepin my children up at bedtime. (Yeah, that’s what I had in mind when I started blogging!)Matthew has now read the post titled Ewwwwwww! not less than 400 gazillion billion times. No kidding. So apparently, I do have one faithful reader…of one post anyway. =) Thanks, kiddo!

It tickles me no end how he giggles as he reads his favorite bits out loud over and over and over. It apparently only gets FUNNIER with each successive reading, not more forced as I would tend to look at it. Then again, I’m not the 9-year-old co-star of the post, either.

Tonight when he again tried to postpone the inevitable bedtime by re-reading his new favorite author (dare I dream? my own personal fan club!), and was eagerly trying to share with his only-occasionally-not-cootiefied sister (in his eyes- in mine she is delightfully cootie-free all the time!), it occurred to me that it might be time for some fresh material. Oh sure, I’ve put up newer posts, but I wasn’t exactly feeling …ummm… chipper? when I did so. Those posts have obviously NOT cut it for my fans fan.

So, in an effort to entertain my kids (though why I should bother when chances are they will only try to use it to fanaggle more UP time out of me at insanely late hours of the night when they should be sleeping and I, of course, should be blogging)…

I will share a mini-story about hair. My hair. No, not hair like the hairS that grow out of my scalp and cascade beautifully down my back, but my hair. A hair I noticed out of the corner of my eye yesterday and was so intrigued by it that I plucked it out, examined it, and put it in a ziploc bag which is now in my purse. Yes, I do weird things and have been known to keep even weirder things in my purse. My children know this and accept me for who I am…the weirdest mom on the planet. Or else the meanest mom if I’m making them finish their brussel sprouts. Ok, actually? We’ve never tried brussel sprouts, and I’m not sure we ever will. They just look funny. Like teensy tiny cabbage balls, which is probably what they are, but I wouldn’t know because I eat REAL food…like meat, potatoes, and ice cream.

So anyway. Back to my hair. I HAD to keep this hair safe, you see. I’ve got it secured in the baggie until I can figure out a way to preserve it in scrapbook form. It’s special. Oh so special. It’s a record-breaker! Or at least it’s broken my own personal record.

You see, it has a split end. Well, really it has a splitsplitsplitsplit end. To the tune of 19, yes NINETEEN splits. My previous record was 12. I’m so proud. =*)

It’s SO cool to look at. It’s like one of those old antique brooms that just feathers out all over everywhere. Or those pictures of trees we had to draw in art class where the branches had to keep getting smaller and smaller, branching off of itself again and again. If you make a circle with the hair you get a kind of spoked wheel. Almost looks like a water wheel made out of tire spike strips.

I recently heard about a toy that you plug into the TV and use to look at stuff under a microscope. Eyeclops. I wanted one so bad when I saw it. Now I know I need one. I have GOT to see my record breaker at 200x magnification on our 26″ TV. FAR OUT!

So now you know the truth. I am so desperately in need of a hair makeover it surpasses funny and moves into the realm of pathetic and sad. I am so desperately in need of entertainment and excitement I have resorted to going ga-ga over extraordinarily damaged hair.

In all seriousness if anyone has a solution to the whole mounting/displaying/photographing dilemma of a hair with 19 splits in it please let me know. I SO want to capture the full essence of my pitifulness in this. I’m thinking maybe a cute 5×7 hanging in my living room.

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