Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here till the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

-from the song “Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Clash

Found this morning on a crumpled piece of notepaper left on the table:


Gary Allen “Empty Glass”

Kevin Fowler “Hand me to love”

Grechin Wilson “Come to Bed”

Tim McGraw “Like We Never Loved”

Kasley “Never Should have let you go”

Tank “Please don’t go
Maybe I deserve

Sisgo These are the times

Slipknot “Lest we forget”

Guns and Roses November Rain

Bon Jovi I’ll be There for You

Boyz II Men “End of the Road

Bon Jovi “It’s my life”

It appears to be my husband’s handwriting. I do not know what to think. Mike’s musical taste (as in the ONLY things I’ve EVER heard him listen to…) are pretty set… the ‘oldies’ (especially Peter, Paul, & Mary) and a few select ‘others’… like the Bangles and Harry Chapin. He definitely does NOT do heavy metal or country. In fact, when we first got together and I listened to county music, I was forever getting teased about it. He despised the whole genre and would not put up with it on the radio in the car (or CMT either!). Heavy metal wasn’t really teased, but only because neither of us liked it… at all.

So here we have a list of ‘mushy’ songs (at least I assume they are all mushy… I don’t actually recognize any of them, but they all seem mushy), at least one of which is by a country music artist, one of which is by a young ‘hip’ boys band, and three of which are by heavy metal artists. The other artists I’ve never even heard of!

I don’t know what to think. I have tried all day now to come up with some ‘explanation’ or ‘story’ behind this list… Here are 3 very different explanations I came up with:

  1. A list of song titles for an “I love you and hope you feel better soon” CD for me (wow! talk about my self-centeredness coming through, huh?)… that was compiled either through the help of itself or by one of his coworkers with the suggestion to “look them up on”.
  2. A list of song titles for an “I love you and am really sorry to do this, but really it’s better this way…I’m leaving you because I don’t love you anymore (or I love someone else)” CD for me (ok, and this one would be the paranoia coming through…) that was compiled either through the help of itself or by the good-for-nuthin-husband-stealin other woman with the suggestion to “look them up on”.
  3. A list of song titles he heard, liked (probably for one of the above reasons), and wanted to know the complete lyrics to… all played on a single radio station he was listening to at work.

These were the three ‘most likely’ scenarios my mind came up with. From those three, my highly reasonable, list-making, option-weighing mind tried to objectively narrow down THE most likely…

  1. Mike has made me ‘mixed tape’ type things in the past. Inevitably they contain a mix of oldie-but-goodie songs, and although they are generally meant to say something like “I love you and think you are special enough to make this special mix CD for you“, they have never really been the kind that says “these songs express my feelings for you”. More like “these are songs I know, or at least THINK I know, you like and most of them I like too and that may actually be why I think YOU like them or they have the word love in them and so therefore are mix-CD worthy“. Things like “Purple People Eater”, “Tom Dooley”, “Love Potion No. 9”, “Leavin’ On a Jet Plane”, “Alice’s Restaurant”, “Great Balls of Fire”, and anything by Ray Stevens, etc. So, while he has been known to ‘mix-it-up’ to show his love for me in the past, this particular list is so far from his standard modus operandi it makes Option #1 highly UN-likely…even if he did have help from a co-worker.
  2. While there have been times in the past 12 years that I have questioned/doubted/wondered his sincerity when he says “I love you” and have even wondered whether he was wanting/planning to get rid of me, I’ve never had any REAL reason to suspect that his leaving me was an actual possibility.
  3. Seriously. Heavy Metal, Country, and R&B/Pop all on one radio station?!? Gimme a break!

So the MOST likely of the three? Obviously that would be Option # 2. Which just goes to show my psychosis. Granted, it is not helped by the contradictory allusions towards the end of the list… “I’ll be there for you”… “end of the road”…. Aaaahhhhh!!!! The confusion!!!!

Think I’ll go search up a good chicken recipe to make for dinner for the husband that may or may not be hurrying home to his seriously-screwed-up-in-the-head not-so-little wife tonight after possibly, but possibly not, having listened to every mushy song from every imaginable genre while working either in the Texas heat or in an air-conditioned guard shack all day. (Thus a new dilemma…hot chicken? or cold?)


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