Sick of being sick

And yes, I know I probably already have a post entitled something very, very similar. Oh well. It’s the truth.

I’m so sick of being sick!! UGG! The antibiotic combination I was on last summer really seemed to be doing the job and getting me well. I was able to get a lot of work done helping Mom get their new house ready to move in. Around August, the doc decided we should be through treating the bartonella and changed my meds, and it’s been bad ever since. =(

It didn’t take long at all to realize we were nowhere near through treating the bartonella, but it’s sure taking a long time to get the meds tweaked back to where I’m making any improvements. =(

I’ve missed SO much church in the last ew months, it’s unreal. I had to go off all antibiotics completely in Dec because my white blood cell count was so low. My doc wanted me to see an hematologist, but without moolah, that was a pipe dream, of course.

I finally was able to start back on the bartonella antibiotics this month. I knew I was going to feel worse for a bit before it started getting better. That’s the way it always is, so that I expected. What I didn’t expect, however, was a ‘relapse’ about 3 days into the feeling better stretch. =/

Last Wednesday, I made it to church and answered several comments by friends along the lines of “Where’ve you been? You been having problems with your Lyme?” with a smile. I was finally starting to feel better and could see a hint of the good health (relatively speaking) I’d had last summer. I’d even gotten some housework done before going to church!

Friday, I got some more housework done, though I was feeling a teensy bit nauseous. Dad came over and took the van out to get the front-end aligned and the oil changed. (Actually, they ended up doing a completel lube job on it.) Then the kids and I headed over to Mom’s for game night. The first one since Christmas.

I felt pretty good. I was having a good time talking with Mom and was feeling encouraged about my housekeeping performance. (I’d been real discouraged, doubting my abilities… feeling like I really have horrible housekeeping habits and was ultimately just a lazy lump of lard.) Having felt a little better over the last few days, I’d just fallen back into a ‘habit’ of getting laundry done, and picking up the house. I was realizing that when I am actually feeling ok, I don’t have to force myself to get housework done, I just do it. The lack of housework getting done is actually directly tied to how lousy I’ve felt the last several months.

So I was feeling a little less like an awful wife/mom/housekeeper, and having fun playing Scrabble when all of a sudden the teensy bit of nausea turned into a WHOLE LOTTA PUKIN’! =(

Game night kinda ended there. I spent the rest of the night and all day Saturday on mom’s couch trying to avoid the dry heaves (since there was nothing left to bring up!). I finally drug myself out the door and back home around midnight. By that point, my head was killing me again. (Upset tummy = too chicken to try and swallow pain pills = misery.)

Sunday morning, the kids rode the bus to SS and church (thankfully!), while I slept… all day. Around 3:30pm I braved some super sweetened lemon water and took some pills. I slept off and on the rest of the day and into the night. Chills, sweats, aches, stiffness, and oh-so-tired!

I don’t know if I was unlucky enough to catch some virus going around right at the time I started feeling better or what, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant. And of course it meant I missed more church services. =( 

I’m no longer sick to my stomach (I even actually ATE something late last night!), but I’m still tired and my head still hurts.

Matthew didn’t get either of his allergy shots last week, and I completely forgot about an appt Meagan had with the dr last Monday. I need to get his shots scheduled for this week and then maybe get a load of laundry done. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to manage much more than that today… Still. *sigh*

Meanwhile my children are growing up in a filthy house and having to feed themselves. I’m just sick of being sick. It’s that simple. =(


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